I’ve been thinking about this post for a while now as to whether or not I wanted to share it with the general community.
But, here goes nothing.
I’m going to get some personal counseling as well as marriage counseling with my bride.
As “personal” as this topic might be (and there are some instances where it should definitely STAY personal), I believe that I simply can’t escape the fact that we are all completely and undeniably broken. Sin has crippled us, past experiences have scarred us, and we’re not perfect or smart or good enough to overcome the issues by ourselves.
We simply need help.
I’m not alone. You’re not alone. We are not alone. We’re all in “this” together, some how, some way.
I’m not sure how all of this will “work” but I know that I need it. I hope to just “show up” and let God do the “rest.” Perhaps He’ll clue me in too.
No, I’m sure He will. Can’t wait.
From one broken brother to another. Praying for you and would appreciate the same.
thanks adam. walking together man.
good for you man. i started counseling last year for the first time and thought it was GREAT. i took a break, but am planning to go back soon. jon acuff has good insight into counseling too. yes, we're all broken and some of us need crazy deep healing. but sometimes, life is just overwhelming and we can't process it on our own. in addition to our friends and other wise counsel, it helps to have an unbiased professional to help you.
anyway, i'm sure it will be a very helpful and eye-opening experience for you. good decision all around.
wow, thanks for sharing girl! appreciate the support!
awesome man! I started seeing my "Mental Health Friend" as i like to call him back in Oct, or maybe sept. Either way it's been amazing and i am a firm believer that everyone needs to visit one. Also love the transparency in this post, keep it man you'll find hitting publish gets easier and easier when you see how your struggles lift other up to Him.
John, you're awesome. You're always feeding out – time to be nourished, healed, and cared for – both you and your wife. Praying for you, brother!
thanks brandon for the backup. love it.
word up. rocking!
Christi and I went through a really rough time a couple of years ago. We had a lot of stuff we needed to work through and we didn't even know where to begin the conversation or what questions to ask. Went through counseling and everything. It was one of the best things we've ever done for our marriage.
I prayed for you and your bride just now and will keep praying for you. What you do is important. Your family, whether it's obvious or not, is part of your ministry equation. From my experience, you'll grow closer to your bride as you go through this together.
thanks paul. word up.
I have been through times in the past where I could have used someone to come alongside me. And the struggle was the worse for it being alone. As I need the help going forward, I have the confidence to ask.
It takes courage to take this step and more to admit to it as you are doing. Bless you brother, walk boldly and ask the Father to lend you the help you may need.
thanks dude. maybe i might be “fun”… who knows… ?
i'm with you bro. broken here too! but god works for the good of those that love him….no joke!
thanks dude! appreciate the backup!
ditto to most or all of the above.
word.
So true, Brennan Manning told a story of "The cracked pot" ( http://www.focusministries1.org/articles/Hurrayfo… ). This story has ministered to me in so many ways, it has affected every area of my walk with God. Hurray for the "cracked pots"!
wow. thanks for this!
We are certainly all in need of counsel. I do however, think mentorship is a much more powerful means of healing us, that the church does not readily provide resources for it. Stacy and I just spent the weekend being introduced to Marriage Mentors (www.marriagementors.com) and are thoroughly astounded by the impact of their ministry. I suggest that if you have not heard of them, you consider adding them to the possibilities you seek out for counsel.
cool, thanks! gonna check it out.
Praying for you. Everyone needs a little bit of therapy… I've gone on and off since I was 22, with Brian AND alone, and it has really help me grow and see God's grace a lot clearer.
Hang in there!
thanks for the encouragement…!
16 years of breaking this big ugly coffee-mug and putting me back together. Watched "Fireproof" last night. Tore me up. Hang in there dude. Keep your nose in Scripture, your ears open, and don't stop.
i was told that movie was awesome… gotta check it out.
Dude we need to talk! I've gots lots to share! Thanks for being so transparent. Your right, we are indeed broken, torn, not who we one day will be! Thanks for being the Godly model in your marriage and going to counseling. That's good! – You get MUCH respect for that! – Aren't you glad even though we are huge dummies, our God isn't? He is in the business of fixing broken things!
I want to talk more off-line, love ya bro!
{remember this – God can build things back up , a whole lot quicker then it took us to tear them down!}
yeah. he does that alot… word.
Beautifully authentic. Simple. And True. Thnx.
John some of my deepest hurts and worst mistakes have happened during my marriage years. Counseling is refreshing and I am proud of anyone who has the guts to say what you have in this post. YOU ARE NOT AND NEVER WILL BE ALONE. I say it with you, "I am broken too." Transformative/formative is how I felt about my time learning and growing under the influence and direction of a Biblical counselor. You have always impressed me by the quality of your "work" but you have impressed me more by revealing your soul. (not that you set out to impress anyone…you get what I mean.) Praying for you.
dude, thanks so much for the prayers. that means so much for us. my wife appreciates it too…!
It's a fine line between transparency / accountability and that guy who divorced his wife with a Facebook status update. From the stalking I done here, you walk on the right side of that line, with grace and dignity, and encouragement for all of us who may not be able to share as elegantly. May you both be healed, restored, refreshed and blessed by what you're stepping into with this! God is good…ALL the time.
Jon,
Been there, done that … still do it from time to time. My wife is going through something called "living well" ministries right now. We've both gone to counseling. We went to our marriage counselor at church. Joy asked if I wanted to go elsewhere, or if we needed to come after hours, or meet somewhere private. I said no … I wanted to walk through my church office with our heads held high, and say "yes, we're going to marriage counseling, because we know it can be better, and we know we aren't smart enough to fix it all by ourselves" … yes, we're going … and you should too.
Nobody (as far as I know) criticized us on that. Go for it – and thanks for being humble enough to ask for help.
For the Kingdom,
Fred McKinnon
http://www.fredmckinnon.com
http://www.theworshipcommunity.com
dude, thansk for sharing this fred. encouraged.
Thank God, because if we weren't broken, we wouldn't need a fixin'! Know what I mean?
dude. you're so friggin right.
all the time man. thanks for the encouragement!
Seriously good for you man. I wish you all the luck in the world. You should already be confident because you've taken a step that too many people in this world have stigmatized, resulting in general unhappiness. My opinion: counseling or some form thereof is the ultimate expression of the American dream. We're all crazy, with baggage so everyone should just give it up and bitch to a professional every once in while. I started back again in counseling last fall and wrote on my incoming evaluation that since the rest of my family (parents and brother) is currently in counseling, I was feeling left out. I hope this brings a little more happiness and laughter to your life, as it has for me.
Jessica,
It was great to meet you the other night!!! It was so much fun! thanks! your words are good stuff.
Counseling is a great thing, you will learn so much about yourself and relationships. I too just went through marriage counseling. It didn't work out for us. I couldn't fix it. For whatever reasons that I'm still not totally sure of, we are divorcing. It is easy to wonder what I did wrong, what I should have said, and how I could have been a better man. But I then am reminded that Christ is in me. I am NOT broken, He has fixed me and I am perfect and blameless. The flesh is still around and can screw things up, but whatever has and will happen, know that it is not who you ARE.
That's a pretty deep theological issue you've brought up. I've got to agree with John here. We're broken. God's kingdom is not here in its fullness yet. So we can not experience full restoration of relationship with God. And we can not be perfect and blameless, yet. Jesus ushered in God's kingdom but did not bring it in its fullness. So, yes, we can experience bits of God's kingdom now, moments of it such as physical and emotional healing, but I don't believe we can be declared whole and perfect, yet. It's a tension we as Christians live in.
the tension… yeah. i digg. thanks for this!
Thanks for the transparency, John.
" I hope to just “show up” and let God do the “rest.” Perhaps He’ll clue me in too." // That is the right attitude to have! Take the steps to make things better, but let God do His work through you! Amen! Thank you for being transparent! No doubt you will be helping others with this post!!
Thanks~! i'm really thankful for the encouragement. it's a tough step, but a good one!
One of the smartest things we've ever done was go to couples counseling. It was over 4 years ago and we've never felt like we've needed to go back. For us, it was powerful and effective and nothing like you see in the movies.
peace|dewde
rocking. cause you are the dewde.
Most definitely. That's why we all need Christ and when we try to solve it ourselve we fail. We are called to renew our minds and stop leaning on our own understanding. Be blessed.