Monthly Archives: August 2005

Four

4

When satan comes, he comes ready to play ball.
He loves to see insanity.

But, God, uses all things for the Good.  He sees
to it that it advances relationships, pure and simple.

What seems like the final test, had just been administered.
We’ll see if I pass.

Five

5

I don’t wear any jewelry, any at all.  I used to have
a necklace, but, that was in Highschool when I thought
I was cool, but really wasn’t.  I used to wear an earing,
but, I didn’t feel like that was necessary or something
I wanted anymore, and watches, I have always found
to be bothersome: they itch.

But, in a few more days, I’m going to put on this circular
silvery-looking thing on my left hand.  I took a look at
it last night, as I gave it to my bestman.  It was a brief
look, but, I had been meditating on it’s symbolism, meaning,
etc…  Some guys have small ones, some large, some heavy,
some light, some very ornate, and some uber plain.  But,
like many things, what really counts is what’s beyond the
looks, what it means to the individual, regardless of
appearance.  Mine means a lot to me.  I’ve had this
dream of how it’ll weigh a thousand pounds, of how when
I put it on my hand will tank to the ground because of
its’ weight and the magnitude of importance.  Yippee!

I think it’s shiny looking.  Sparkly. Wow!

I’ll have to remember to take it off when I work out.

That, My Friends, is Sexy

6

Today was the last Sunday Service that I had
attended as a single man.  The Spirit spoke about
‘love thru action.’  Appropriate.

Went to a Watermark concert with my beloved.
It was great.  Thanks and much props to Ji who
gave me the opportunity to help out and be an usher.
YOU ROCK JI!  Cause, you just do.

As I was sitting in the back, listening to Watermark,
I was witnessing a husband and wife ministry team.
That is what I want, what I desire.  I want my marriage
to be a ministry, not just unto myself, but to others.
You can see that ‘thing,’ that source of energy if you
will, flowing from biblical marriages.  They just have
‘it,’ and you are encouraged, and want it too.

Two people who are madly in love with the Lord,
and who want to love Him together…  man, that,
my friends, is sexy.

Disturbing, Wronged.

8

Today, Sue described to me what ‘happens’
when one goes see a gynecologist.  It was,
to me, disturbing.  I felt wronged, even though
I didn’t have anything done to myself.  Eww.
And us men think we have it tough cause we
just have to look to the right and left and ‘cough.’

The thought of having the title of ‘husband’ is
foreign to me, naturally.  Certain words that I
haven’t used in the past often, like ‘wife,’ will
now become common.  I’ve realized that I really
like calling Sue ‘my bride.’  There’s something
so cool about that word.  Biblical. …  Booya.

I finished the book ‘The Five Love Languages’
and I would highly recommend it to any couple,
and really anyone, period, if they are interested
in cultivating relationships.  If we all learned to
speak and to understand each others’ ‘languages,’
I believe a lot of healing could take place.  Read
it for yourselves…

I realized that the events that will occur in t-minus
168+ hours have been the result of a truck-load of
prayer, petition, tears, angst, anxiety, heartbreak,
struggles, tests, success, failures, (ad nauseam) and
faith in an Almighty God.  This entry is dedicated
to those that have played a part, both great and small,
in all of those things above.  I guess this is one of those
events where you trace the beginnings to the end; where
you see how God has moved and you sit stunned at
how He orchestrates such a woven tapestry and
masterpiece out of sin, shame, and unglorifying choices.
I think of being born for this purpose, which plays a part
of the greater Purpose, receiving the call of Christ,
and many other things… like seeing Sue for the first time,
and random stuff like that.

My first memory of Sue was in a Bible Study.  I didn’t find
her very attractive.  In fact, I wasn’t really interested in dating
at the time.  I remember she was in a bible study and she
had mentioned having some difficulty with a person when it
had come time to ask for prayer requests and concerns.  I
think too much about her, but more of the problem.  I didn’t
think I would actually talk to her later, but, we did, and I told
her that the way she had related the problem and her response
and actions, that she was just complaining and that would get
her no where.  Essentially, I rebuked my wife-to-be in the face.
That is my first memory of Sue.  Pwned.

Today, she rebukes me a lot, or rather, lovingly seeks
to encourage me through service, suggestions of action,
and prayer in an attempt to help me stay the course.  Pwned.

One of the most embarassing moments of my life was when
she confronted me, in front of Su Won no less, about a
possible ‘over stepping’ of boundaries.  I shall admit nothing
further, but, that is one of the most embarassing moments of my
life… for more than one reason.  Uber pwned.

Ah.  This entry has become a stream of concious though, so,
I had better stop.  So many memories.

What are some ‘first memories’ of the being ‘John and Sue,’
or ‘Josue,’ or ‘Sujo,’ or whatever that you have?  I think it would
be funny to know.

Hopefully, embarassing.

Pwned.

Nine

9

The single digits are upon me.
I’ve begun to think about the ‘lasts’ that I’m
having right now, you know, like:

“This is the last time that I’m going to do _________ as a bachelor/single man.”

There’s a great finality to it all.  Because, then, I’ll be able to make a list comprised of:

“This is the first time that I’m going to do __________ as a married man.”

Awesome.