So… how exactly am I supposed to capture all of 2020 in one… singular… blog post?
I’m not sure I’m going to try…
… or, maybe I’ll try. Let’s just get started, shall we? Whatever. Fuck 2020. Ugh.
If the theme of 2019 was “who am I?” and trying to figure that question out… then 2020 was the year that I attempted to put it into actual practice.
It’s worth noting that one of my more useful life “strategies” is to execute despite the ambiguity or the unknown; never stop moving. In fact, it is through my work that I discover more about who I am.
TL;DR: before I forget, cause, you know… I’m getting old: This was the year of self-confidence.
You see… right now… I’m moving fast. I’m operating at the highest level that I can possibly operate at; it’s as if the proverbial “scales” have fallen from my eyes and the clarity of purpose, vision, and execution is as euphoric as it is focused: Precise; judiciously-so and the hits are sick.
Yes, I said “sick” — I like that word.
Day-to-day I can maintain this level of production as there are only a few impossible-to-dodge distractions that my parter and spouse have helped isolate and reduce via stringent scheduling.
Consequently, the confluence of these optimizations have allowed me to fully “come into my own” — the skills that I’ve been building and honing for decades have found a useful home in the very work that I do.
All of this resolves to a clear, deeply satisfying conclusion: I find myself enormously fulfilled (I use that word intentionally — deep thought, pause… consider… hmmm.) in my work and thereby experiencing happiness in novel ways.
Impossible, it would seem, that I would arrive at this place during what has (and still is) the hardest, darkest, and most-trying season of my personal and professional life?!
If there is a God (and I believe there is one), it can only be that “type of “work that bears these “kinds of fruit” — insane-level shit.
Much of this is also the result of landing on a “why” that was mine; that fundamentally made sense to who I am and who I decided I wanted to be.
Consequently, my experience as a creator, founder, entrepreneur, writer, product designer and leader feels appropriate for size of the challenge I’ve accepted and the “why” that I’ve devised — I don’t feel overly equipped, which is good (I think); I feel competent, capable, and confident in that assessment.
In a subtle way, like an itch that suddenly disappeared without that much-needed scratch, there’s a sense of being “settled” in my person and personality and I’m now confidently old enough (and weathered) to know that my current skills (and skill-level) are more than enough to get me to where I want to go.
That’s self-confidence, right?
I laugh because being able to even say the last line aloud is something that I never thought I’d be able to say! Being confident that the skills that I’ve acquired over the years will be (more than) enough to support my family is crazy-fucking-cool.
And… being able to say that I will also enjoy myself while doing those things? Priceless.
2020 was the year of self-confidence, something that’s generally alluded me for my entire life. This wasn’t the same thing as imposter syndrome but rather a quiet, internal sense that I wasn’t quite ready for the “big show”; that I still had much to learn about what made me, me.
I had already learned to build, operate, scale, and then sell my projects; what I hadn’t quite learned was the fact that I was (and am) more than enough for my own dreams — they aren’t too big enough for me to carry:
Think about it for a moment: How does one build an authentic community if the leader of the community isn’t entirely certain of who they are or what they stand for?
A lot of (new) communities die before they even start because the founders simply aren’t sure who they want to be! Consequently, they attract similarly-confused members into their ranks. Go figure.
Clarity is a competitive edge. I’ve got mine. Or, at least more than I did last year. My goal is to help others find similar, sound footing in 2021. In fact, I have a discrete number attached to it: 1,000+ profitable projects / communities for my fellow
yenizens in the
yeniverse! If I do that then 2021 will most-definitely be better than 2020 by a long-shot.
Is this the dream? Fuck, what. 2020? It was a disaster! How was all of this possible?! Like I said, G-to-the-O-to-the-motherfucking-D. I’m not even joking.
But, I’m more certain that I can pull this off than I have ever been. Let’s go.
I am glad to put 2020 behind me because I lost my shit while the world did as well. 2020 started innocently enough: I thought I’d vlog every single day — I’m almost done! Didn’t miss a single day. I had made the crazy decision to restart the startup, killing the last app believing that the hardest challenges were behind me. Nope. The second turned 9, I hired someone making the startup journey less-lonely, and I realized that I’m kinda all about community; always have been, always will be. Like writing. And economics, one the more important lessons of 2020, besides curating relationships, friendships better defined; methods established. I didn’t know I’d have to do it for both personal and professional. Fuck. I owned a new title of “amateur” — don’t plan on upgrading it, just like I came back to Twitter wtf because, you know: Again, a fucking startup. But, covid. At least I had a garage, community, dreams that move fast (like this that died). Zoom(bomb). Calendars, never stop, IH omg. 4w3 and slow… rewrites, technical and human capital… graduations. Share all the things because you never know. Pico, Glen Park, exvangelical, sys–tems, notes, but breathing is leadership, better when you’ve accepted the role (I can’t). Bets can work. Candor does too. So does respect. Goals (more goals). Here. There. Nowhere (the last). Newsletters and superpowers, projX, and finally picked myself (for once). Cheeks, kicks, the future and 3. Fate was decided, thankful for uneasy closure; new beginnings and favs strongly created. Earnest, I am. In the end; new words to play with. Light wins matter. Comments. Purpose. End.
It’s hard to pick favorites which is why I can’t and why I don’t really try. This personal blog saw
471 posts published (including this one) while globally it seems I’ve published nearly triple that across the web.