4 Years in 4 Days: Hopeful Attempt No. 1

desertleader

My wife and I have been married for 3 years and 362 days (including today, I think) and Thursday we’re going to celebrate our big #4.

I completely suck at these sort of things. I am certifiably nervous about it and at the same time excited.

And since I’m nervous one of my consistent remedies is to journal (and blog) about it, so over the next 4 days I’m going to attempt to communicate 4 truths which I’ve learned in the last year only (I’ve apparently learned a lot more over the last 4 years, but this past year was formidable).

Attempt No. 1 – Leadership

I’ve learned that leadership in marriage doesn’t have anything to do with what I thought a “leader” was in marriage. In fact, it’s completely contrary to what I thought was true and how the world sees “leadership.”

Being a “leader” in my household or “leading my wife” (as we typically say in Christianese) is more about being right with God individually as much as it is corporately; in fact, I think there’s priority and order within this context as well.

In addition, it’s much less about explicit action and much more of a heart and mind issue.

I’ve barely got it together as a sinner-yet-saved and when I explicitly have tried to “lead” I fail. But, when I model godliness or take my own faith seriously, those are the times of effective leadership.

Actually, I’ll be honest; my wife has modeled Christ-likeness more than I have and to that I’m extremely thankful because my wife has shown me what leadership is all about: Love and service.

[Image from Hamed]