It’s Always Personal — 19

This post is part of Project: Inception, written ~8 years ago. It has been untouched from its original, pseudonymous, form. It is also part of the larger “farewell” tour and countdown as I turn-off this blog and head to the metaverse where I will live out the rest of my wonderful days. I hope to see you there!

It’s Always Personal

One of the worst things that someone can say to me (and many have) is this:

Don’t take it so personally.

No motherfucker, everything is personal for me. The way that I dress, the way that I build products, the way that I eat my cereal in the morning, the way that I like my coffee, and the way that I sit in my chair on one butt cheek. My entire world is so wrapped up into who I am and what I do that it’s all one-in-the-same for me. I cannot create distinction between objective and subjective or remove myself from the equation in any form.

If you make fun of the way I drink my coffee I may say something incredibly nasty to you, even if you were making a joke about it (I wouldn’t really know it was a joke to begin with). I will respond passionately about it like you had just dissed my mother.

And in the same way if you have an issue with something that I’m working on or if you disapprove of the product that I’m building I will take it very personally. I will feel as if you’ve attacked me, not just my product! You have issue with me if you have issue with my product.

I believe many aspie creatives feel the same way as we are deeply intertwined with the work that we do and cannot escape that connect whether we like it or not. As for me I like it – it means that I breathe in deeply that which I do and live in it fully. It makes me feel alive. I feel as if the very heartbeat of my work is my own heartbeat.

It’s always personal with an aspie creative. It’s just good for NTs to know.

Besides… I am an artist; this is the way.