My Biggest Fear

After publishing this video yesterday I gave the title a bit more thought because I wasn’t sure if it was true – that this particular fear was, in fact, my biggest fear (instead of being “one” of my biggest fears).

Hey, accuracy matters… right?

Here’s the vlog:

A thoughtful pose.

After giving it some thought I realized a few things:

  1. I may have more fears than I’d like to admit and/or was fully aware of. This shouldn’t / isn’t a super-large surprise considering I struggle with anxiety disorder but I hadn’t given it a refreshed view in a while.
  2. Not all fears are irrational… but a lot of them are… and most of the ones that you and I have (if you’re like me and living in a 1st-world country) are irrational. We are too blessed for our own good.
  3. The fear of letting good people down isn’t about putting myself in a position where others may feel less of me… it’s being in a position where others believe that I care less about them than I actually do. Unfortunately, I don’t communicate the truth as often as I need or should.
  4. I do not think I suffer distinctly from imposter’s syndrome but I do constantly feel as if I can’t do enough to help others and support those that I care about. This may be why I struggle with workaholism.

I hope that makes sense.