Disillusioned

dis·il·lu·sioned:

disappointed in someone or something that one discovers to be less good than one had believed

and / or…

cause (someone) to realize that a belief or an ideal is false

Yeah.

This is how I generally feel about my so-called spiritual life right now, the capital-c Church as well as the localized (lowercase-c church) institutions that (sometimes) have crosses attached to their edifice.

I’m disappointed with how things have turned out in the last 3 years since moving to San Francisco. I’m disappointed that I’ve tried and failed to find footing here. Perhaps the church is disappointed in me.

It has caused me to question everything and I’m asking hard but honest questions about faith and spirituality. I’m missing something… … and I’m wrestling with it all. I’m just grateful I have a trusted friend and partner to chat through it with.

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