kpridekp (8:58:07 PM): crap..
jleekun (8:58:13 PM): ?
kpridekp (8:58:14 PM): i have a small ity bitty problem.
jleekun (8:58:17 PM): ?
kpridekp (8:58:28 PM): i dont have enough strength(?) to walk anymore.
kpridekp (8:58:30 PM):
jleekun (8:58:42 PM): really?
kpridekp (8:58:45 PM): how do you have so much energy letft?
jleekun (8:58:51 PM): i dont’.
kpridekp (8:59:15 PM): obviously more than me.
jleekun (8:59:18 PM): im litterally dying.
jleekun (8:59:22 PM): this sucks.
kpridekp (8:59:34 PM): yea, it kinda is getting to me.
kpridekp (8:59:42 PM): i’d do anything for a bag of potato chips
kpridekp (8:59:48 PM): or orange juice
kpridekp (8:59:54 PM): or everything else i take for granted daily
kpridekp (9:00:09 PM): but the thing that keeps me going.. is all the food we will be able to eat..
jleekun (9:00:34 PM): can you make it bro?
kpridekp (9:00:44 PM): yea, if i can’t. u’ll be the first to know.
kpridekp (9:00:58 PM): 3 days is realy interesting. but it’s only 27 omr ehours.
kpridekp (9:01:04 PM): i shoudl be aiite.. are you okay?
jleekun (9:01:07 PM): yeah.
jleekun (9:01:28 PM): you know. we are dying for the Lord.
jleekun (9:01:41 PM): and for me, that’s fine.
jleekun (9:01:51 PM): for any other reason, i would have broken already.
kpridekp (9:02:10 PM): yea, that keeps me going too.
kpridekp (9:02:16 PM): i dunon how you did this before..
kpridekp (9:02:19 PM): it’s seriously testing my faith.
jleekun (9:02:26 PM): you think its not testing mine?
kpridekp (9:02:28 PM): i’d do anything for .. anything but water.
kpridekp (9:02:42 PM): of course.. i’m jus so glad you’re doing this with me
kpridekp (9:02:48 PM): if you wernt.. man …
jleekun (9:02:50 PM): doing it alone is harder.
jleekun (9:03:23 PM): write about it.
kpridekp (9:03:28 PM): write.
jleekun (9:03:30 PM): i think tha’ts’ what im gonna do now.
jleekun (9:03:34 PM): im just gonna write a letter to God.
jleekun (9:03:40 PM): crying out to Him cause im dying for Him.
jleekun (9:03:49 PM): and ask Him,
jleekun (9:03:50 PM): no,
jleekun (9:03:51 PM): beg Him
jleekun (9:03:52 PM): for help.
jleekun (9:04:00 PM): cause man, im hungry.
jleekun (9:04:04 PM): you do the same.
jleekun (9:04:14 PM): where are you?
kpridekp (9:05:12 PM): apt
kpridekp (9:05:17 PM): i’ll go to the library in about.. 30 min
kpridekp (9:05:24 PM): if i can ever get my legs working again.
jleekun (9:05:26 PM): are you going to be able to walk?
kpridekp (9:05:38 PM): if ic an’t. i told you, u’ll be the first to knwo.
kpridekp (9:05:44 PM): but i like to stay put. i’m beocming so lazy.
kpridekp (9:05:45 PM):
jleekun (9:06:12 PM): haha.
jleekun (9:06:20 PM): well, if you can study in your apartment.
jleekun (9:06:22 PM): go for it.
kpridekp (9:06:25 PM): i have to meet some people.
jleekun (9:06:26 PM): better that you not travel.
jleekun (9:06:28 PM): i see.
kpridekp (9:06:33 PM): so i havta..
kpridekp (9:06:41 PM): s’all good. God wanted me to suffer a bit
jleekun (9:06:48 PM): ok. you interested in meeting up again around 12?
kpridekp (9:06:49 PM): i’m so .. complacent.
kpridekp (9:06:56 PM): if you’re still up.. i thought you was gonna sleep
jleekun (9:08:18 PM): well.
jleekun (9:08:23 PM): anything for a bro.
jleekun (9:08:28 PM): we need to get together and pray.
jleekun (9:08:34 PM): i think without it we’ll breka.
kpridekp (9:08:36 PM): thanks man…
kpridekp (9:08:40 PM): yea, i think so too..
kpridekp (9:08:47 PM): thanks
jleekun (9:08:52 PM): only 3 more hours till we meet.
jleekun (9:08:55 PM): after that, sleep.
jleekun (9:08:58 PM): and then, the day…
jleekun (9:09:06 PM): and then, the countdown till food.
kpridekp (9:09:10 PM): of course.. countdown…
jleekun (9:09:12 PM): w’ere past the half-mark.
kpridekp (9:09:20 PM): i’ve already started the countdown..
jleekun (9:09:22 PM): with God’s graces, we’ll be able to do it.
kpridekp (9:09:22 PM):
kpridekp (9:09:26 PM): yes, we shall
jleekun (9:09:34 PM): i feel like my skin is falling off my body.
kpridekp (9:09:40 PM): i never raelized how much i take food for granted..
kpridekp (9:09:48 PM): my legs man.
jleekun (9:09:55 PM): my legs feel like jello too.
kpridekp (9:10:06 PM): jello is exactly right.
kpridekp (9:10:20 PM): and that stupid blister is SO huge…
kpridekp (9:10:22 PM): unsightly
jleekun (9:10:24 PM): haha
jleekun (9:10:27 PM): that’s mad funnie.
kpridekp (9:10:47 PM): haha good good
jleekun (9:10:48 PM): today.
jleekun (9:10:52 PM): in the libary.
jleekun (9:10:55 PM): walking around
jleekun (9:10:58 PM): i felt like a zombie.
jleekun (9:11:05 PM): everything was so slow paced.
kpridekp (9:11:16 PM): haha.. i couldn’t stay awake at borders either.. evyrhting was so slow for me
kpridekp (9:11:19 PM): yea, i know how u feel
jleekun (9:11:19 PM): haha
jleekun (9:11:20 PM): yeah
jleekun (9:11:24 PM): your not alone.
jleekun (9:11:28 PM): this is a !#$%!
kpridekp (9:11:39 PM): satan is soo tempting me with everythign..
kpridekp (9:11:50 PM): even trying to make me go to the restarutant
kpridekp (9:11:58 PM): but God interevened.
jleekun (9:12:13 PM): do not break my brother.
jleekun (9:12:22 PM): you have the power and the strength.
jleekun (9:12:25 PM): you are not asking God for it.
kpridekp (9:12:42 PM): … dude, i’ve never been so scared in my life.
jleekun (9:12:47 PM): release your physical body. its not yours. ask Him to take it out of your hand.s
kpridekp (9:12:54 PM): i dont wanna die or faint or anythihng…
jleekun (9:13:03 PM): you will not die.
kpridekp (9:13:12 PM): but i am scared nonetheless.
jleekun (9:13:16 PM): you may faint, if you don’t get enough water.
jleekun (9:13:20 PM): so, make sure you do that.
jleekun (9:13:33 PM): you have a test tomorrow, right?
jleekun (9:13:34 PM): what time?
kpridekp (9:13:43 PM): 2 of them.. 9:30 and 11:30
kpridekp (9:13:57 PM): … i’ll be fine …
jleekun (9:14:12 PM): ok. you know what, yo have it even better my brother! cause, you will have activities that will keep you busy and your mind off the food. praise God for that.
kpridekp (9:14:21 PM): i’m bummed i wont be able to join you tommorrow… i really enjoyed starting the day off with a prayer.
jleekun (9:14:46 PM): its fine. pray before you take each test.
kpridekp (9:15:02 PM): yea i have.. it helps.
jleekun (9:15:05 PM): hey.
kpridekp (9:15:06 PM): especially thru my java test today..
kpridekp (9:15:08 PM): hi.
jleekun (9:15:10 PM): so, when do you think you’ll be done?
kpridekp (9:15:18 PM): i’ll be done at.. exactly … 2ish
kpridekp (9:15:27 PM): what about you…
jleekun (9:15:28 PM): think itll take the whole time?
kpridekp (9:15:38 PM): 11:30 .. atleast.. 1
kpridekp (9:15:41 PM): hour 1/2
jleekun (9:15:45 PM): i see.
kpridekp (9:15:51 PM): i should be done in less than that actually
jleekun (9:15:51 PM): after that, you are all done, ne?
kpridekp (9:15:57 PM): i forgot it was only 5 questions. yea
kpridekp (9:16:01 PM): done..
kpridekp (9:16:04 PM): bu tyou got a final..
kpridekp (9:16:06 PM): friday.
jleekun (9:16:07 PM): yeah, that’s fine.
jleekun (9:16:19 PM): hey, what are your plans after your last final?
kpridekp (9:16:34 PM): i dont got any for the present moment
kpridekp (9:16:43 PM): jovis asked me if i wanted to drink
kpridekp (9:16:47 PM): … definatly declined.
jleekun (9:16:57 PM): i think if you drank now, you would die.
kpridekp (9:17:10 PM): i can’t give in..
kpridekp (9:17:12 PM): i’ve come too far
kpridekp (9:17:21 PM): the thing that stops me from eating at this present moment is 2 things
jleekun (9:17:24 PM): i think, after all your tests tomorrow, we should chill.
kpridekp (9:18:51 PM): 1) i’d let you and definatly God down… I don’t care what you say, I will let you down if I give in.. I’ve.. no… we’ve worked so far to come where I am now.. and not only will God see i’m so weak… i know our friendship dosntn depend on this.. but it is something i feel.
2) I’ve come so far.. 42 hours!!
kpridekp (9:18:53 PM): hell yea
kpridekp (9:19:10 PM): i’d really appreciate that if you did.
jleekun (9:19:21 PM): i think if we spend the rest of the day together tomorrow, up until we eat, we won’t get tempted.
kpridekp (9:19:40 PM): okay. sounds like a very good plan to me.
kpridekp (9:19:47 PM): steve called me today…
kpridekp (9:20:21 PM): he’s very dissapoitinted i didn’t keep in touch. i’m liiek.. it takes 2 to be friends…
kpridekp (9:20:31 PM): and so did brian (not lee) and he tried to tempt me to eat
kpridekp (9:20:44 PM): and a girl called asking for another phone, and she’s being a pain about it…
kpridekp (9:21:03 PM): and one person asked why i .. appear different … more Godly sense
jleekun (9:21:04 PM): haha.
jleekun (9:21:10 PM): cool.
kpridekp (9:21:16 PM): and i felt bad I couldn’t answer her correctly… i was so out of it.
kpridekp (9:21:20 PM): wasn’t my time to talk.
kpridekp (9:21:23 PM):
kpridekp (9:21:48 PM): 1) did you finsih ur essay
kpridekp (9:21:56 PM): 2) dont you aveh to study for your psych test?
jleekun (9:22:05 PM): finished essay.
kpridekp (9:22:06 PM): i’ll quiz you … i’ll be taking mine tommorrow…
jleekun (9:22:21 PM): i can finish my psychology study’s at your place or soemthing.
kpridekp (9:22:24 PM): okay.
kpridekp (9:22:51 PM): then i shall see you in 3 SHORT hours.
jleekun (9:22:58 PM): k.
kpridekp (9:23:03 PM): i have to go now. stupid legs.
jleekun (9:23:10 PM): im gonna write to God and tell Him to give me strenght.
jleekun (9:23:13 PM): or im gonna de.
jleekun (9:23:15 PM): *die.
kpridekp (9:23:18 PM): dont forget me.
kpridekp (9:23:21 PM):
jleekun (9:23:25 PM): i will.
kpridekp (9:23:25 PM): i’ll dot he same at the library.
jleekun (9:23:28 PM): include you.
kpridekp (9:23:32 PM): thanks…
jleekun (9:23:33 PM):
jleekun (9:23:35 PM): of course.
kpridekp (9:23:41 PM): i’ll pray on my way to library. see you altser
kpridekp (9:23:43 PM): later
jleekun (9:24:51 PM): later.
Dear Lord, hear my cry. I am weeping inside. God, my God. Why…? God, my God, I am dying for You as I type this. I am near the end God. Please do not forget Your son Lord Father. I need You more than ever right now. Please, God, hear my prayer, I am so weak Lord God. May this cry reach You in Your highest Heaven Lord. May it reach Your ears and may You grant me my desire. Lord, Father, I come before You broken and ill. Lord, Father, I am dying. God, I am so hungry. Lord, Father. I have but 26 hours left. Lord, God, my God, how? God, my God, I cannot do this without You Lord Father. Please, Lord, grant me, grant us strength! God, please! God, my God, do not forget us Lord Father, we have not forgotten You! Please God. My body desires You Lord Father. I have felt the call, Lord God, the essence of being without You Father. It is something I have felt, Lord, God, I am nothing with You. Alone You shall sustain me and alone I must go this route. Lord, Father, please, grant me this desire Lord Father, for not just I but my brother Tim, Lord Father, God, please, give us the strength to get thru the next 26 hours Lord Father. We have already been running on empty. Lord, God, our legs are tired, they feel like jello. God, I can no longer bear the burden of my own head upon my weak shoulders. I wanna collapse Lord Father into nothing. I wanna succumb and just deny You of this living sacrifice. Lord God, please, make my heart bolder Lord Father. Make my heart Love You more. May I not deny You of this Lord Father. May I provide You with this sacrifice with a pure heart and a pure mind Lord God. May I not be tempted, oh Lord, may I not be tempted! I am shouting to You Lord, God, my God, I have been tempted today Lord Father! Everywhere I go, people are offering me food, or giving me small things Lord Father God please! Keep them away. Lord Father, my body is weak and my defenses on this world are down. God, keep me safe! Provide for me Lord Father! Make me a temple so pure and so strong and so alive that nothing can destroy it! God, make me a fortress of Your Love and of Your strength Lord God so that not even satan can enter it and defile it! Lord, God, my God, please. I am on my knees and begging You. I am broken Lord God, I have nothing left, and yet, You ask me to go another day, Lord, God, I am so weak. Not even 3 days! Lord, God, I am not worthy to be Your son. I cannot even complete 3 days of fasting without crying out to You God. I am so weak. Lord God, my flesh is so weak. God, my God, time and time again, You have shown me my own weaknesses and Lord God, it hurts now God. I am nothing without You, I know that. Lord God, supply me! Supply Tim! Lord God! Forget not Your sons that are dying for You God! We are living corpses of darkness Lord God, we are turning to You God for the light in our lives. God, my God, forget us not! Please God, please God. Please. God, my Father! You are my Father God! What father on this earth will not provide for their son Lord God?! I am more than that to You God, I know that! You have told me so! You have told the world that You are our ultimate and only true Father and that You would do anything for Your songs! God, my God, You died for us thru Jesus Christ! Now, God, please, provide me with just enough to get thru tonight and into tomorrow God until 12 thursday night, Lord, God, that is all I ask. Lord Father, You, who are God, who can do anything and everything that You desire, Lord, Father, please, could You do this for myself and Tim? Could You, God, please, just supply us for the rest of tonight and the day? Lord, God, do you not want to? Lord, Father, what will You have us do Lord God? What would You have us do? Lord, do You want Your sons to fail You Father! I do not doubt Your Plan Lord God, but, do not forget us Lord God! Please! God, my God! Please! Help us Lord God, I am so miserable. Lord Father, my body aches and wants to perish. My mind has slowed to a molasses pace, and Lord Father, I am lonely and desperate for You. God, my God. My brother Tim is going thru the same struggle. Thank You God for him! Thank You that You have given me a brother that will endure this pain with me. Lord Father, I know it was a thrown-together decision Lord Father, forgive us God, forgive us for our own pride. Lord God, but may it be prideful for only You! God, may we boast only in You! Thru this Lord God, may we raise You as high as we can, proclaiming in Your name, Your Love! God, may we only boast in You, and You alone! We are doing this to boast in ourselves Your power and Grace! God, my God, do not think we are foolish Lord Father. I know that we are and in my humbleness I submit to my inferiority and own pathetic existence as one of the worst sinners Lord God, but, please, Lord Father, these motives are pure. God, they sure feel like it Lord. And, Father, forgive me for it if it is not Your Will. Please shine Your light upon me and grant me this desire Lord God. Be the supply of everything I need. God, my God, I trust in You. I trust there is a purpose for this pain. I do not want it Lord God, but it is a part of this trial. Lord God, supply me and Tim, please, I beg You, do not forget Your sons. We have not forgotten You…
I lift all this in Your Holy Name Lord Father, Amen.