A friend recommended this book to me and it was an easy purchase, especially after this:
In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself.
And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person.
But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.The Four Agreements
Curating my relationships is a “necessary evil”—something that I must do religiously so that I don’t go insane (or drive myself insane).
I, like many folks, have a really hard time saying “no” to folks that I meet, especially new ones that almost-always feel more exciting than they are worth—that initial jolt of a new face, a new perspective, can be intoxicating and, for some, a real aphrodisiac. I get it, I do.
But, even healthy people can make you unhealthy if you don’t monitor or manage your schedule and time. If we aren’t hyper-vigilant then we’ll end up being slaves to everyone else’s time tables.
And, I won’t allow that to happen any more.
I don’t like curating humans or even pulling upgrades on folks that I love and care about! But, pruning is a skill, one that requires real experimentation and real practice.
Most folks never try it.