This is a Guest Post by Adam Rico. He is a corporate recruiter and career coach. Adam helps people feel fully alive by doing work they love. You can read his blog Work You Enjoy and follow him on Twitter or Facebook.
Do you ever hold yourself back from success?
Everyone seems to be talking about how to be successful. You can go to any blog, magazine, or book and find a gluttony of tips to get you on the fast track.
What kind of success are you chasing? Blogging success? Success in your business, career, relationships?
Regardless of the area of your life you want success, someone has a tip or plan for you and yet, when we look at those around us, what really separates the successful from the unsuccessful?
I recently attended a career fair on the employer side of the table and a job seeker came to our table and after I explained the different available positions they said:
I’m not smart enough for those jobs.
I was blown away by this person’s response.
Most people are trying to impress me with their qualifications and charming personalities at a career fair – not this person. They told me exactly what they were thinking.
Although I appreciated their honesty, I had to politely disagree with their self-assessment. Yet, I started to think about how often I do the same thing.
When negative self talk erupts in my thoughts do I politely disagree? What about you?
Do you ever tell yourself you’re not _________ enough to do ____________?
So how is this related to success? I believe that it’s everything and I believe that we are what we think. If we believe we can be successful, we will be. Some how, some way.
If we allow negative thoughts to crowd out our confidence, we’ve already lost before we’ve begun. So where do those negative thoughts come from?
We have someone’s voice in the back of our mind that tells us we can’t do it. For some that voice may be a parent, teacher, sibling, or just ourselves. But we all have that voice and I believe that it’s the voice of fear.
So, what’s the solution? We need to have a strategy to deal with that voice when it reveals its ugly little head. Here are four of them to ponder:
1. Identify the Voice
First, identify whose voice it is. We’re not born with critical thoughts. Critical and negative thoughts were planted somewhere along life’s road. Likely by someone with good intentions. It may be your own voice, but it will help to know whose voice is behind those negative thoughts when you get to Strategy #3.
2. Identify When You Are Lying to Yourself
It may almost seem natural or “responsible” to talk yourself out of thinking big. The next time you have a big idea and then you find yourself focusing on the negative aspects, try to pause and realize what you are doing to yourself at that moment.
3. Talk Back
Question that voice. Who is that voice to challenge you? If you have identified the voice as someone in your life, this can be challenging. Especially if it is a parent’s voice. However, when you start thinking negatively, ask yourself what the opposite thought would sound like. Change your thought from, “this will never work” to “what if this works out”? You will need to choose to believe the positive thought.
4. Replace the Negative Thinking
Just identifying negative thinking is half the battle. You must have some positive thinking to fill its place. Listen to positive messages from podcasts, music, or radio. Read encouraging blogs, books, and magazines.
I would also suggest trimming or eliminating your news intake. What you put into your mind is going to come out in your thought life. Choosing to believe the positive thoughts takes some work and some time to develop better thinking habits. However, it will be worth the effort and time.
Regardless of where you are on your journey to success, at one point or another we all trip ourselves up with negative thinking. However, our success hinges on the ability to identify our negative thinking and choose to believe in our success before it actually happens.
If we can do that we can move mountains.
For further reading and to subscribe to Adam’s newsletter you can download his free ebook “5 Essential Steps to Landing Your Dream Job”.