Quiet Time

Quiet time…

Man, the days seem almost a blur.  Just continous tapestry of worshipping, praise, and God centered stuff.  Yesterday, we went to play football for awhile, that was pretty good.  I was QB for the first time in my life ever, and i threw the only touchdown to Todd for our team.  That was mad cool.  Came back, and all of us were pretty tired and sweaty.  Clarence has had 3 sermons/messages since yesterday, sheesh.  That’s a lot.  But, it’s all been awesome.  He spoke about the word and how we must awaken that hunger for it. Learn to feed myself, not rely as heavily on others to suply me with it.  Especially with respect to the Church.  A lot of people seek to be spoon-fed it like little children, the Word, and if they don’t feel like they are getting their fill, then, they leave, disappointed in the Church.  But, we must learn to be self-taught, independent, for it is our walk with the Lord, not anyone elses.  We cannot put our trust in anyone else but Him and ourselves to get there.  If they all fail around us, then, where do we have to go?  We must be strong fortresses in ourselves, and prepare ourselves for our battle.  We must establish the communication with the Lord, thru prayer.  Prayer, it is a precious gift, a direct link to the Lord.  It is a time of communion with Him.  Never waste that.  There isn’t any specific way to pray.  No right or wrong way.  Just make sure we do it.  I have established a decent level of communication with my God, and, I love it.  It’s some of the best spent time during my day to just talk to Him.  Let Him hear my thoughts and my prayers from me.  Even though He knows the desires of my heart and body, I know He loves it when we come to Him and speak directly to Him.  Clarence made the reference of how prayer gives us the ability to be at the steps of God’s throne, that close to God, and just speak frankly to Him.  That’s awesome.  To be that close to the Lord.  He’s given us this gift of prayer.  Why wouldn’t we wanna use that opportunity…?  Clarence also spoke about Holiness.  1st Peter 1: 13.  Be holy means without sin.  Hate sin with a passion!  It is deadly and its costs and consequences are huge.  To the point of death!  Cheating on a test is the same in God’s eyes are murdering your neighbor.  Sin is sin.  It is no scalable.  He then went on to discuss “Falling in Love with the church.”  The church is the body of Christ.  It is our brothers and sisters.  Love and support eachother.  It is so important to do this.  Love one another.  No hypocrisy.  No duality.  No judgment of others.  That was me!  And I still is me to an extent.  Awhile back, I was extremely hypocritical.  I had a dual nature, and I still do sometimes.  I judge harshly and forgive with strings attached.  God, I pray that you will break me and just show me how to better myself in these respects.  Let me have perfect integrity, where I am the same in all circumastances, whether I am alone or in public.  Let me not have a dual nature.  Let me forgive and not judge as harshly.  Lord, I know I can change, I have it on my heart to change.  Help me father.  I can do it.  Clarence then began to speak to us on the 3 pillars of the Church and God.  Faith, Hope, and Love.  He started on faith.  Hebrews 11!!!  That is it right there.  He used Romans 3:21, righteousness thru faith, and James 2: 14, faith and deeds.  These are two competing views, in respect to grace and our faith in the Lord.  Do we need deeds to accept his grace?  Well, no, His grace is free.  But, the way I see it, If we truly love the Lord, we will bring our love out thru action and we will want to serve our Lord thru action and deeds because we truly love Him.  In either case, I don’t think we can just sit there on our butts and do nothing.  I wanna act.  I wanna bring to action my love and show God my love thru it.  I think everyone who truly loves Him would want to.  We have been lulled into spiritual complacency.  Or, even, we are addicted to it.  We have to break free of that.  Change, Be strong.  Faith calls us to obey.  It is bourne out of what we do, or dies out of what we do not do.  We must keep it and nuture it.  Restore it, grow it.  And share it.  Our lives must center around our faith and hope and love.  We must have faithful responses and actions, regardless if it is heartfelt or not sometimes.  In some cases, we just need to do it.  Pray, goto Church, and those faithiful actions, although forced, may breed love and intent and passion later.  Who knows how the Lord works in our lives, truly?  Whatever it takes to get us to Him .  And, that, my friends, is Hope.  Our trust in the Lord and His promises.  Clarence used Romans 4:20 to discuss how, even though Abraham was physically incapable of having child, and his wife was barren, Abraham trusted that the Lord would provide him with a son.  God had promised him a son, and God will always fulfull His promises to us.  No matter what.  Being a Christian means that all things are possible.  ALL things.  Believe everything is possible.  If you are not a Christain, possiblilities end in the human psyche and physical capacity.  God is so much greater than that.  God is so much greater than us.  Nothing is ever without hope.  Hope in the Lord, that is so important.  I believe that Satan attacks our hope the most out of all the 3 pipars. Because, unlike Love and faith, you cannot share Hope.  Hope is an individual thing.  It is yours personally. You can restore and supoort others with your love and thru your character and actions, share yoru faith.  But hope…?  Hope is hard to show.  It is not tangible.  It requires prayer and focus upon yourself, no one else.  This was really good for me to understand. Satan will attack this pillar in his hope to collapse the others in the process.  Maintain, with strength, your hope in the Lord, and be faithful in Him and trust in His plan for you.  All things are for the good for those that love Him.  Romans 8:28…  God, may I never falter, and may these 3 pillars continue to grow and rise tall above everyting, above my enemies.  Above my sin, above my faults and shortcomings.  Above my past.  Lord, I commit these 3 pillars to You, to hold You in the highest esteem.  Lord, You are everything that I need.  You are are everything that I will ever need.  Make me strong oh Lord.  Later that night, I had a good discussion with Clarence alone.  It was on the reasons I was hear at this retreat and my calling to be the prayer leader at Tech.  He brought things into perspective for me.  He and Todd did actually.  Both are truly Godly men, and recognized the calling better than I did for myself.  I have been called.  Circumstance and timing, and everything else.  It is all falling into place.  Teaha, a godly man, considered me to lead.  Thtat should have spoke to me initially, but I was foolish on thinking I would see some shooting star, or some flash of lightning on a sunny day.  Lord.  I am your servant, and I have so much to learn Lord.  I am your disciple.  I have heard Your call for me to serve and lead this ministry.  With Your strength and thru Your blessing, I will perform as well as I possbily can.  Only thru You Lord.  Nothing in me would make any of this possible. Without You, my vision is blind, my words are evil, and my leadership is more like that of a trap.  Lord, make me a fruitful bearer of Your word.  I am excited yet scared at the same time.  But, with You, I can do it.  Lord, just continue to be with me Lord, and guide me Lord.  Thank you for Clarence’s wise words.  Thank you for Todd, what an awesome brother. I should have been seeking advice and guidance from those that have expereince in leadership positions instead of being selfish and trying to be on some spirit quest or something.  Comon John, what are you doing…?  You amaze me sometimes in your ignorance…  You amaze me in your arrogance and selfish schemes. Seek your brothers advice!  You cannot do this alone or by yourself!  You need your brothers and you need your God.  You are nothing with the Lord and His disciplies.  Lord, may I continue to be sharpened by You and Your word and my fellow brothers and sisters.  God, my wish is to do the same for them as well, and to help them grow and come closer to You.  Todd said, in our conversation, that a true leader is not afraid of growing in front of others.  Lord, let me not be afraid or scared of being vulnerable to them.  Let me grow with them.  That is all I ak.  God, make me your vehicle, may I stay open minded and open hearted thru all I do.  Lord, You are my strength, my reedemer, and my friend.  With You, by my side, all things are possible!  Thank You Lord.  I love You so much.