Rules for Fighting Fair in Marriage

We don’t fight very fairly, do we? Honestly it’s more fun when we don’t because we do more damage – but we know the end result isn’t good either way.

The goal isn’t to stop fighting or have disagreements; that’s impossible. The goal is to have conflict in a way that is honest, open, and free of as much evil as possible. Conflict is inevitable and under the right care it can even be beneficial and edifying.

Here are some rules to live (or fight) by:

  • Keep it Honest – Ephesians 4:15 – But speak the truth in love.
  • Keep it Under Control – Ephesians 4:26 – Be angry, and yet do not sin.
  • Keep it Timed Right – Ephesians 4:26-27 – Do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not give the devil an opportunity.
  • Keep it Positive – Colossians 3:12-13 – And so as those tho have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
  • Keep it Tactful – Ephesians 4:29 – Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.
  • Keep it Private – Ephesians 4:31 – Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
  • Keep it Cleaned Up – Ephesians 4:32 – And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

In addition, you might as well remember to…

  • Keep it Cleaned Up – Ephesians 4:32 – And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
  • Find out what you’re fighting about – Proverbs 18:15 – The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
  • Avoid categorizing or name calling – Matthew 5:22 – But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever shall say to his brother, ‘Raca,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever shall say, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.
  • Leave out past histories – 1st Corinthians 13:5 – Do not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, and is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered.

Let’s do it well and wisely. And heck, let’s love each other more.