Seems Extreme

When I’m overwhelmed… I’m overwhelmed.

I mean, you know the feeling, right?

My wife providing a bit of “air cover” for me.

It seems extreme for neurotypicals and, on this point, I can agree: It is extreme. When I’m overwhelmed it feels like I’m literally fighting for my life; it gets hard to breathe and I melt, sometimes in a pool of tears.

Most folks won’t ever really appreciate nor understand this, even the people who are (have been) very close to you; even family can get this wrong, dramatically.

The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t.

via Joker

There are a lot of people in my life who expect me to behave a certain way and it’s exhausting to meet their impossible demands. What’s worse is when I’m in a really dark place and I begin to silently believe they are doing it on purpose, with an expressed intent to inflict pain.

I don’t actually believe this, truly, but, in some of my very low moments, although brief, I believe it with every fiber of my being. And I hate them for it.

In time, I can (and will) recover. Yes, it can seem extreme; that’s because it is. It’s extreme to me and I need you to understand it before it’s too late.