“So Fresh, So Clean”

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Project: XANGA

“So Fresh, So Clean”

The Engaged Life  :  Episode 1-1

This is the new reality-blog-series depicting one guy, one girl, and their attempts to make a relationship work with the help and guidance of God and His Son, Jesus Christ.  All events are real and are not scripted.

Walking into Quiznos is always an interesting experience for me.  So many memories come flooding back to me of freshman and sophomore year of college.  I remember hitting Quizzy up at least once a week, sometimes, I went for every lunch in a week.  Those were good times.  Pete’s favorite sandwhich place is Quiznos, and, I mean, you can’t blame anyone, cause, those toasted subs…  They make you drool.  But, even with all those experiences at the toasted-sub-heaven, I had never been as shocked as I was last night; so shocked that I had to put my sandwhich down for a moment… something I rarely ever do, except when my fiancee lovingly prods at me and says: ‘Slow down John, you’re eating to fast,’ or ‘Chew it first, then swallow,’ or when she tilts her head slightly to the right and just simply looks at me with those beautiful eyes and says with her gorgeous lips ‘Jooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…

So, I went on a date with my fiancee.  A classic and simple ‘dinner-and-a-movie’ type of deal.  I got to Quiznos early and ordered the delicious Chicken Carbonara.  I found an opened paper and was reading about the death of 4 Church Leaders from the 7th Day Adventist group.  They had all gone down in their plane.  (We must pray for their families, by the way)  They were headed to the conference, and the president of it was on that flight.  A most serious tragedy.  I was reading the story when I heard the door open.

In she walks.  And she sits down and promptly says with a smile ‘You stink.

This didn’t surprise me in the least… well, I guess it did a little.  But, I was thinking:

How could she have known!?!  How could she possibly know that the gray sweater-like old-skool thing I was wearing hadn’t been washed for 2 weeks?!?  How could she possibly know that the ‘citypants,’ those gangsta baggy ones, black, that I was wearing, I hadn’t washed in 3 weeks and had been wearing continually to class every single day, minus one for a presentation?!? How! How! How?!

But, I didn’t let this faze me.  I prayed for our most blessed meal of toasted-heaven-on-earth and continued to devour my sandwhich with wreckless abandon.  A little bit later, amidst a few chews, I asked ‘Do I really stink?‘ cause, I was kinda embarassed.  But, I could have never been prepared for her response.

It’s just a fact:  You shouldn’t wash your hair everyday.  It’s just not healthy.  I know this.  So, I don’t wash my hair everday.  But, I’ve taken it a step further.  Using classic empiricism, I have discovered that if you don’t wash your hair for 3 weeks, by that time, your body has balanced the amount of oil in your hair and you don’t need to wash it.  AND, it doesn’t stink!  But, this past time-period, I hadn’t washed it for nearly 6 weeks.  5 and a half, to be exact.  I guess it had been a little too long.

My fiancee says to me ‘John, it’s not your clothes, it’s your hair.  I smelled it when I came in and walked past you.’

I was floored!  I laughed so hard, out of shock and the sheer funniness of it, I suppose, that the store owners and the other customers stared at me.  I yelled ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!It can’t be!

But, it was.  It was certainly my hair.  After doing some thorough tests, like rubbing my scalp with my fingers and smelling them, I had clear evidence, undeniable truth, that my fiancee was just overly sensitive to smell.  …  Nah.  My hair smelled.

But, what stung a little is when she played the ‘If you love me…‘ card.  Coyly, pulling it strategically out of nowhere, she said ‘If you love me, you’ll wash your hair at least once a week, if not more.‘  I was aghast.  Stupified.  ‘She used the ‘If you love me…’ card…  Crazy.

But, what’s even more crazy is that she even puts up with me.  I think God has granted her unbelievable patience.  Many people would attest to the fact that most women would have kicked-me-to-the-curb a long time ago, cause, I can be a jerk.  Praise God for my fiancee’s patience and love, granted to her by Jesus.  Oooooooh.  Praise God for Jesus.

So, I made a deal.  I would wash my hair more often.  Weekly, even.  ‘See John?!‘ I said to myself, ‘God’s preparing you to be a better husband, so that you can honor her and regard her to the best of your abilities… and smell good when you stand next to her. How wonderful.  All things can be used for the Glory.‘ 

So, I went home that eveningly, humbled, but not ashamed, and I washed my hair with Pert Plus with Conditioner, cause, I’m a simple guy and like to keep it real.

End.