I spent some time mentoring a younger gentleman the other day and he’s in the middle of some tough professional choices.

He’s a founder of a company that is having gaspfounder problems.

We chatted for quite some time and one of the things that no business school could teach you is how to be the bigger man and walk away.

And I know that it’s never “that simple” and there are a ton of (somewhat) legitimate reasons to “fight on” and ensure that everyone gets their fair treatment and outcome…

… but my counsel to him was to consider the cost, especially as wasted resources of time, money, and energy, and emotion that would / will inevitably rob him and his next project.

In other words, the time he would have to spend working through these seemingly-irreconcilable differences could be better spent recovering, reflecting, and then investing in the next thing.

I’m trying to teach my kids to do the same; this idea that we’re not responsible for how other’s react to us and their judgments to or against us. Our job is to focus on what we can control, our emotions, our attitudes, our actions and how that effects other people.

We can only look ourselves in the mirror, every single morning and every single evening, and ask ourselves if we behaved in right ways and thought honorably about those we worked with and served.¬†We can’t ask that for others, despite how much we may want to.

This pill is tough to swallow but I felt it was an important alternative-route, perhaps, for the gentleman to consider and take. Moving toward any form of litigation or arbitration will only get more messy.

The folks who end up being the bigger men (and women) ultimately are the ones who grow faster and who accelerate harder toward their next project and season of life. This is because they are also, simultaneously, folks who can make hard decisions, decisively.


Also published on Medium.