I received this note from someone I’ve been coaching through a career transition and it entirely made my day:
I went with your original suggestion and went with the transparency avenue for XXXXXXXX. Worked out well and they were really understanding. When i met the team they were just too nice and I felt like I didn’t want to fuck them. I told them I would hopefully get back to them by Wednesday and if not latest Monday.
My quick response was as follows:
dude, i love that so much. transparency is a road less traveled by most… but it pays big dividends. i mean, it just puts you in a better spot and it builds a real relationship.
proud of you man. killed it.
I had met with him earlier in the week and he wasn’t planning on moving down this route but, in the end, he realized that it was a gamble worth pursuing.
But, I actually don’t see it as a gamble. Creating a foundation of transparency with any relationship regardless of how new or old it is should be a priority and a non-negotiable. You want others to treat you in this way so why wouldn’t you do that on your end?
And any relationship worth its salt will be transparent naturally. All the rest are just transactions, throw-aways, single-serve (although not all single-serve friends are bad).
But when it comes to professional employment and new jobs there is no compromise: Start with transparency so that you can end with it as well.
And there will be an end.