“These are the times that try men’s souls.” ~ Thomas Paine
Ever have a time like that? I’m sure you have. Everyone does. It’s times like these that you feel like you just wanna throw in the towel, give it all up, forget about it, and walk away. Everything that you once felt was worth dying for you no longer even care that it even exists. ‘Worthlessness’ is the quality that apparently seems to reign supreme in all things, and all at once you feel like it would have been nice if the world did notice you, or maybe, just maybe, and more importantly so, seemed to care. But, you see, all this is not even what I feel! It just comes hand-in-hand with feelings of straight inadequancy and failure… disappointment: that of letting your Father down. I neither care for notice nor acclaim nor that the world care or take heed. I want to be forgiven. To know that I am forgiven. To be redeemed. To be restored. To be whole, once again.
And, I find myself strangely hypocritical. Cause… #%&$**%&^…!!! I’m writing this on gay xanga.
How self-righteous, it seems sometimes, that one can declare that God is indeed with him. It is the greatest (and when I say ‘greatest’ I most certainly mean THE greatest) tragedy when one does not realize, know, nor comprehend that, indeed, God has left him. This idea of being unaware. Unaware that God is no longer by your side… and you sadly continue to march triumphantly toward evil with a brazen smirk of a self-righteous confidence that is only overshadowed by the cataclysm that is the unknown loss of ones’ most beloved friend, defender, and ally. And God does not show His face upon thee. He is gone. If you need a real example, go read about Samson in the book of Judges.
Ask, this day, whom you shall serve! Joshua asks that question in his book, chapter 24:15. And fear not failure, for the righteous do not fail the Lord. And, even the unrighteous serve the silver platter called ‘Purpose Divine,’ for God’s Will is beyond man and his understanding. And, most assuredly, ‘Our God is in Heaven, He does whatever He #%$^&! pleases.’ (Psalm 115:3. I added #%$^&!)
So, I conclude. The Lord is Good. Amen. A new day brings new mercies. Thank the Lord for that. Amen, and, Amen.