Tuesday I Danced

tuesday i danced for the first time in a long time…  It was good. 

Project: XANGA

Although, i pulled my groin… word.  those mills, if you breakout wide on em, dude, they pull hard…  shizit.  well, not so bad.  Only a couple peeps showed up and its cool, watever.  It was just good to get the feet moving and such.  just kicking it old skool.  i have definitely improved.  I can easily say that I’m so much better than i used to be before summer.  my freestyle sessions with petakun just brought me out of a slump and my skills are showin it.  mad dope… i felt more of the flare style while i was there, for real, gotta have nice surface to get grip, i didn’t have that back at my home pad, so it was sort of refreshing.   90’s, didn’t do shit, and im gonna have to practice em…  mad hard, and i tried for the first time some head-spins, with nicole’s cap.  very strange… but doesn’t hurt your head as much.  pretty nice, ne?  what else has been going on?  lez see… yesterday, friday, had my first psych 1000 class.  dude, my ‘kids’ as i call them, suck!  i was hoping for a good bunch of kids to TL, but damn yo, these kids are not awake, and there are only like 4 females out of 30 something…?  perfect gatech ratio… and, none of them are cute… which, i didn’t care, but, shit…  im not gonna trip on it, i better not have a shitty ass group yo… i mean, there are some kids who are already clownin’ around and some punkass’s who think they’re badass… man, was i like that my freshman year?  just didn’t give a phuck about nothing and wanted to show how big of a dick you have?  i dunno.  i dun think so.  i was a punkass sometimes i guess… but… watever.  retrospect is a bitch.  had my ex call me up late one night… and i swear, that girl has to get over some key points…  its sort of… uh… over…?  we broke up a while back and now, why the hell is she calling me and shit.?  yeah, yeah, we can be friends, yeah yeah, we can be buddies…  but i don’t like being stalked…  like, i don’t wanna have to look over my shoulder and make sure this girl isn’t gonna ‘run me over with a tank’…  word… yah heard me…?  oh well. the conversation always seems to get so damn edgy. and im not in the damn mood to feel edgy.  i dont need that shit.  what else is going down… lets see.  i saw jenny for the first time this year.  just a passing glance and a “hey… watsup?”  and then she vanished…  like all attractive girls, they have a way of just… disappearing…?  haha.  anyways, i dropped her a line, but haven’t heard anything from her lately…  which is cool.  as long as you don’t put many expectations up, you don’t get burnt as bad.  i went and bought that damn tech folder/watever that shit is for resume’s for petakun the other day… not bad price, but i gotsta ship it to tallahassee and watnot.  gotta burn him some cd’s also.  FF7, Tactics, SS2 EVA, UT, word.  good ass soundtracks.  im listening to FF7 and some of those songs are so… damn good.  heartfelt… brings me back to my wee years of RPG heaven, playing that shit way into the early morn.  man, that was some fun shit.  im gonna start another game, since i bought that damn ps1 and shizit…. gotta go buy a copy first… which reminds me… ill go do that right now… hold up…

alright. im stupid.  i just spent 100 bucks at amazon.com…  man, im thrifty sometimes…. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit……  my ‘rents aint gonna appreciate that… word.  got end of eva, death and rebirth, ff7… ps1 babeeeeee! and uh… what else… haha, sucks when you can’t even remember what you spent 100 bucks on 30 seconds ago… on, 0-8 eva.  word.  gotsta represent… man that shit is sick….  i just found out the other day that this guy across the hallway is a mad anime freaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkk……….  shit man, he’s got almost 800 titles… and like 80 percent have like 20 some odd episodes… shit… this guy has so much shit.  wat a phucking freak of nature.  its sick. he’s chinese, with some poor ass broken english, he’s the vice president of anime-o-tekku here at tech… and his roommate is the president…. what a bunch of phucking flaming faggots…  ah, when that guy talks, i just wanna punch him in the mouth and say… stfu dude! learn to speak english or some shit, shiiiiiiiiiiit.  … yeah, im mean.  whatever.

spent a good hour or so in the tech coffe shop with yoko the other day before our I/0 pysch class… just passing by and saw her, sitting alone.  i sat down and she was mad surprised i guess.  i learned a great deal about her in that hour, just about who she is, what she likes to do and stuff. i mean, man, this girl is mad shy, speaks alright english, she’s from japan, and uh, she’s just a nice girl.  she’s interested in black and white photography and goes out like at 1 oclock in the morning and takes stills of the city and all.  man, that was hot, so i told her to tell me next time she wanted to do it, so i could come along.  always been interested in photography, but i have no experience… word. im gonna have to get someif im gonna do project omega… yo…  but… she’s a really interesting person.  i doubt many people even know she exists, but, i believe that everyone has something thats worth knowing about, its just so damn hard to find the right time and all… oh well…

spent all yesterday with wendy.  i got back from working out and she had called me earlier and what not.  she was sort of upset with her parents, so i, having nothing better to do, told her id be over in a couple min.  of course, i gotta walk my ass over to the other side of campus… haha, i asked her for her number, she was so upset, she gave me my phone number… i was like… uh… nah girl, thats mine… and she gave me aileens/anna’s/annies room number… dude, this girl was not thinking straight… so i got her dorm number eventually and what a stupid phuck i am.  i take a quick shower, and hop on out of there… i see a stinger going by so i run over to catch it and as i sit my goofy ass down i remember that i didn’t pick up her number that i wrote down on a piece of paper… and im like… shit, im gonna go all across campus and not be able to ring her… im gonna sit outside woodruff north and be like… wat the phuck…  well, i was thinking about hopping off, but i didn’t, and so the journey began… got over, walked over, and managed to sneak in the building without a key… of course, i go up to dorm 206, cause thats what she said, but shiiiiiiit, i knew it was not the right one…. i go back down stairs and im like… uh… maybe she meant south…?  and i try to sneak in the south building, but no luck… and im like… PHUCK. how the hell ami gonna get up in this bitch…  for some strange reason, i remember her cell phone number… which is odd cause i never memorized it… i just sort of remembered it…  and i look for a sucker to let me borrow their phone… i get one, and make a call, and word. she comes down.  *ack, man, i always make things harder than they actually are.  well, the next 6 or 7 hours with her was pretty cool. we just talked about stuff. man that girl is so crazy.  she’s a goof ball, but she’s got the greatest smile…  ahh, man, her smile is so kyoot.  it makes her face just… it makes her look so happy, even if she’s not… laughter, sometimes, is the best medicine.  so we just chill and talk about whatever pops up.  and i was thinking… i would have never got to meet her if i didn’t goto to that gay ass self-help shit the other day…  fate, or whatever you want to call it, chance, more likely, has a interesting way of getting your thru…  just a good chill session.  and i dunno, i just became so much more attracted to her as the time passed.  she just has that aura… she’s amazing.  lots of ex’s she has, but, whatever.  im not surprised either, sure she had a lot of guys after her, she’s just got that thing going with her that makes guys wanna talk to her.  i, of course, met her in a totally diffrent kind of fashion than most guys…, i mean, its dark, and im in the front seat, and she gets in the back when kym and i pick her up, and i don’t even look at her face for most of the ride… i just listen to her soothing voice… she described her problems and what not, and i was so damn surprised she could be so open, especially in front of me, a guy, that she didn’t even know…  but i guess thats her.  and i just kept my eyes to myself for the most part… just listening… and eventually i just had to comment or something and take a look at who this girl was, and you know, i had seen her like, maybe, once before, when i knew kym, but, she was just more than i had expected… that night, we chilled at the foundation thing and i gotta to know her pretty well… and here i was, yesterday, just going off on like a 7 hour run of nothing but talking with her… when i had only met her like 2 or 3 days before… we just kinda clicked, which, i dunno, can be good and bad sometimes…  she had a frat party she was going to, and of course, im not that big into frats in the first place… and so she gets ready and what not… i walk her over to it and i swear, that frat area is like the biggest unknown area for me on tech campus… its another world, foreign territory kinda deal.  but i didn’t care… unlike the usual situation, she was my escort, cause i didn’t know where the phuck i was going…  we found the place and i left.  i gave her a hug and was like… have a safe time yo… and i could see in her eyes she wasn’t all that happy, but i kept it to myself.  i got back and sat down and saw all these people IM’ed me cause of all this cool shit that was going down… i mean, damn, my away message was “drop me a line, cause you know we gotsta get krunk tonight!”, cause, you know, it was the end of the very first week back in college, you know peeps were gonna get trashed… but, not me yo.  im not like that.  and im sitting there and was like… well, aileen is going out to the same damn party wendy’s going to… and mini is keeping it real at his frat with some phat dj spinnin beats… and i guess mike (zipper) is going out to dynasty and karoaking… damn, id like to do that… but, he left already… and shit… i just spent all my time with wendy and now i got nowhere to go… oh well, its an inhouse stupidass self-party then, cause i wasn’t in the mood to do anything anyways…  but i just thought, you know, if wendy gets trashed, she should come here, its so much closer than walking all the way back to west, and my roomie’s not here anyways… which was cool, but i didn’t know he was leaving… although, he did say something about it…. watever… and im sitting here, thinking… well, maybe ill write some xanga down or whatever… but as i sit down, like an hour later, wendi calls… she’s not feeling too good and all, and she wants to come by… im cool with that, so yeah, sure girl… she comes over and she looks a little dizzy, but whatever, right?  i sit her down and just stare at her… she so attractive right now…  but, man, im not gonna mess with that…  i can’t, our relationship has just gotten started… but the night’s late and we just crash, and im lying there next to her, talking, and i think both of realize that we’re really attracted to eachother… i wasn’t quite sure about it, cause if she was drunk, man, im not gonna take advantage of any girl… thats so damn wrong… but, well, we ended up spending the whole night together… in each other’s arms…  we didn’t have to say much about it… it just was.  it felt right and no one was gonna stop us.  she’s got the greatest lips…  and a really great body.  why the hell woudln’t guys go for her… and she wonder’s why she’s got so many damn admirers…  anyway… i just spent the night holding her… feeling my body warmth just shared between her and me, and everything just seemed so right.  her body felt so secure and perfect in my arms, i just wrapped them around her and drowned in her lips.  it was bliss…  we didnt’ get much sleep that night, but what the hell.  i guess we both knew what was coming… i dunno if either one of us was totally prepared… but she told me she wanted to me to kiss her all day, and i was like… yo, i wanted to hold u every minute i was with you… i guess we read eachother’s minds… and its funny cause, we are totally from different worlds on this damn campus… she’s a frat, party goer, and very outspoken and rambuncious… and im the loner that pretty much doesn’t give a phuck… i am break dancing thug / introverted hybrid mixed with extroverted flare, and man, you can’t categorize me…  and yet, we seemed to meet in the middle of the road… just the right timing i guess.  i don’t care.  i just want her to keep care of her body and all.  its the only one she’ll ever get… we take that shit for granted all the damn time…  but she’s great… not perfect, and of course, no one is, but she’s great… that smile just melts me… and her lips are to die for… i couldn’t get enough of them last night…  i woke up first, of course, im the early riser, and just sat there close, watching her sleep, breathe, take each breath slowly and watch her body rise and fall… touched her cheeks and mouth and lips as softly as i could… just taking it all in that she was right there beside me… felt her body against mine… and i was happy…  she had to go home today, around nine, so i eventually had to get her up around 8 and we walked back to her dorm…  i dropped her off, and then headed back, on my own merry way.  time with self is sometimes good and sometimes it can be very detrimental to my own psychological health…. i just thought of what was going on and what was happening and how thigns have progressed thus far, and where they are gonna take me… usually, i bog myself down with all these doubts, and they were coming in fast and shit… man, i dun want another 1 week deal… i want something substancial…  but whatever… and i just came to the conclusion that who cares…  give it a chance, and things may come…  dont’ worry about that “ONE” that is gonna be mine, it’s no big deal… i headed back to my dorm, but stopped by the student center…  picked up a newspaper, and my 90 dollar tripod for my digitial… it came this morning… and i walked back, with my music, my paper, and this 2 pound tripod…. really nice, i got it standing here in my room, looking pretty… very neat… im nervous about getting that omega project started… we’lll see what happens…  and now im here, alone.  sitting around on a saturday… i look at the clock and its exactly 11:11… how interesting…  how that happens… whats the chance that you’ll look at it at the moment…?  a sign…? nah… bullshit… im too tired to think hard about shit right now…  life’s throwing me some interesting stuff right now, but i don’t have to worry so much about it.  we’ll see where this relationship with wendy takes me, and we’ll see how far this kite flies….  im gonna go do something else… my arms are tired…  later… and you know, this is gonna be my first “private” blog… maybe ill post it public someday, but this one is for me, and me alone…  peace dude… and good luck.